My Mom is a teacher's aid for a pre-school class this year.  Yesterday she called with a story I think bears repeating.

 

Typically the tots use the "smaller" bathroom at school, but sometimes its necessary due to time constraints to let them use the "big" bathroom.  Yesterday, was one of those days.  You can imagine that it's a little more chaotic when everyone gets to go at the same time.  I mean, none of these little people have been on the planet much more than 1000 days, if that.  There's so much to explore, so much to experience.

 

Hence, you can imagine how, shall we say, 'interesting' it was when two 3 year old male adventurers came out of the big bathroom yesterday with...well...with their hair wet.  Mounds of curls soaked.  Both of them.

 

Mom asked Adventurer #1 why his hair was wet and, being the obviously brilliant one he is, he just looked up at her.  Wouldn't say a word.  This is how he avoids lying to her, we think.  Seems to me he has figured out a valuable lesson very early in life.

 

Alas, Adventurer #2 is destined for harder times as he hasn't learned that one yet.  He piped up and offered the following explanation:

 

        We put our heads in the port-a-pot and flushed it.

 

...for those of you keeping track at home, the 'port-a-pot' would be the urinal.  And, yes, you heard it right--they flushed the urinal and stuck their heads in. 

 

Here's to simpler times...

 

-b

 

 

I spent the weekend in Memphis at the Southern Festival of Books.  I played a set with my cousin, Darnell Arnoult (the author of "Sufficient Grace" available in your favorite bookstore's fiction section) yesterday so that was fun.

 

I admit that I like to read, but I gravitate to certain writers and I don't branch out all that much due to time constraints.  So, when Darnell mentioned that her friend Kaye Gibbons was reading at noon and that Kaye really doesn't hold back in her readings, I decided to slip in the back to see what Kaye was like.  (Pardon me for not previously knowing that she's a best-selling author...oops.)

 

Here are 3 reasons why you should go to a Kaye Gibbons' reading if she comes to your local bookstore:

 

1.  On hot flashes.  She said, "Do you know those big coolers outside of the B.P. station?  I climbed in one."  She wasn't kidding.

 

2.  On menapause.  She said something like, "I figure the best way to get through it is to just try not to get arrested and not to buy a weaopn."

 

3.  On friendship, regarding her friendship with Jean Brazelton (The Other Side of Air).  Kaye was down in Rome, GA, visiting Jean.  They'd had a good day of work, so they decided to reward themselves by going to the Rome K-Mart to watch people.  Kaye said she was wandering around the store when, over the intercom she heard, "Helen Keller.  Paging Helen Keller.  Could you please meet Anne Frank at customer service.  Helen Keller, please meet Anne Frank at customer service."  Kaye just knew it had to be her friend Jean paging her so she made to way to customer service.  She said that no one even looked around.  No one thought is was strange at all.  As she got to the front of the store, Jean was standing there and said, "See?  I told you these people are [dumb]."  

 

She wasn't even trying to be funny.  That was the best part. 

 

-b

 

 

So, I've been fortunate enough to have had some things go my way in the Christian music industry.  It's a little overwhelming when I get in that head space where I look around at my life, the awards on my shelf for the songs I've written that have been particularly celebrated, the CD's in my office with my name in the credits, the co-writers who I was fan of and now call my friends, and then to be faced with the knowledge that I already have so much more than I'd ever hoped for when I was in the U-Haul moving here all those years ago.  So, so much more.

 

Next week I'll be heading to St. Louis to teach at a songwriting workshop.  I've been doing this one for maybe 6 or 7 years now, and every year I think Sue (the director) is going to figure out that there are so many talented people who are much more qualified than I to teach songwriting and I always expect her to change her phone number so I can't find her.  She hasn't...yet. 

 

As I was thinking about going to the workshop, I was thinking about all the struggling (if may use that term) talented people throughout the years who I've met there, and here, really.  People who are pursuing excellence in their hometowns and those who will be pursuing it on a regional, national and international level, too.  I've been asked for advice and affirmations galore--and I always think, "If they only knew..."

 

But, from this tiny platform, I'm going to list a few people you may not have heard of who have made me tap my foot or sing along or maybe even tear up a little, and they probably don't even know it.  You should check them out.  They're all doing amazing work.

 

1.  James Casto www.myspace.com/jamescasto  I met James at the Bluebird one night.  I rarely go on Sunday night and happened in a few years ago because a friend of mine was playing a 3 song set.  James happened to be on before him.  I was blown away then and still am now.  We actually hooked up again this year and played a round together at the Bluebird for the Songwriters Guild.  I would've been fine to sit out the round and just listen. 

 

2.  Sean Smith  www.seansmithmusic.com  I met Sean while I was teaching at the workshop in St. Louis.  Sean was one of those guys who wasn't "in your face."  He let his talent speak for itself.  I still remember him telling me the story of how a lady wanted to introduce him to Phil Naish (amazing producer) and now I see that Phil produced Sean's record.  Cool.

 

3.  Daniel Kirkley  www.danielkirkley.com  Daniel worked in the copy room at Brentwood Benson.  I remember him specifically telling me that he wasn't really a writer or an artist.  LIAR!  He's become quite the writer and he has the most beautiful voice.  His first record is coming out on Centricity Records soon.  Hooray!

 

4.  Josh Davis  www.proskuneo.info  Josh entered a song contest I was judging.  I get a CD of songs in the mail for this one.  I just listen to them, provide a little feedback and give them a score.  I've never met Josh.  His song was called "Beautiful Scars," and I played it for everyone.  I still have the CD.  I think the song won second in the contest...the first place one must have been something because I honestly didn't think it could be beat.  He pulled off a difficult idea beautifully, better than I could have and I'm supposed to be the "professional."  I think he's from Georgia, too.

 

5.  Chris and Bill Filer  These two brothers are from Missouri, although I thought they were from Oklahoma for the longest time.  I kind of still do, but I don't know why.  I'm not even sure that they pursue the artist thing, but they're stupid talented.  I met them at the St. Louis workshop, too.  They even flew in to Nashville to write with me--no pressure.  I don't know that I've ever laughed harder in a session. 

 

6.  Allie & Nick Lapointe  www.myspace.com/lapointemusic  I also met Nick and Allie throught the St. Louis thing.  Nick's voice reminds me a little of Dave Matthews.  Allie has this clear quality to her voice that you don't hear all the time.  She did a song last year and literally silenced the room (that's a good thing.)  And, on top of the whole talent thing, they're good people. 

 

 

These are just a few who come to mind.  There are others.  They run the gamut from local artists to artists in their first deal, but none of that matters to me.  Their music has mattered to me.  And, sometimes we don't tell each other enough.

 

-b

 

Simon and I were writing yesterday when the door opened, a hand holding a spoon interjected itself, and a voice from the hallway asked, "Were you looking for a spoon?"

 

Random.

 

-b

 

...I went out to eat today in a redneck area of town.  I took the "first available" seating option and ended up sitting in the smoking section.  The way the table was set up was such that there were four people at one table and then my table for 2, and our tables were only separated by a pole which stretched from the floor to the ceiling.  I was sitting pretty close to the redneck family, in other words.  So, I sat there playing a game on my palm pilot waiting for my food and I couldn't help but hear the conversation next to me. 

 

To my right was the son.  He was probably in his early 20's.  Next to him was the mother chain smoking with the 3 year old in a high chair next to her at the head of their table.  Across from mom was the husband...I never heard him speak, and beside him was the high school daughter.  You've seen her...pencil thin, damaged peroxide blond hair and BLACK mascara with BLACK eyeliner...yeah, I knew you had.

 

Aside from the obligatory NASCAR discusson, most of their conversation revolved around the son telling the daughter to watch out for some guy.  He told her that this guy in question had tried to get him into a fight the other night.  I don't think they fought, but the son (next to me, remember) said he was going to "take him over the hill and kick his a$#."  Mom piped in between drags to tell her daughter that she should "kick Brittany's a$# if she doesn't shut up."  It sounded overall like a very healthy family.  Very stable.

 

I'm still playing my game when I hear the guy next to me say to his sister, "Don't touch it."  I can't see her for the pole, but the next thing I know a glass shatters on my left foot (my legs were crossed.)  Apparently, she'd knocked whatever it was off the table and it hit the edge of the table in a way that it was unstable enough to break when it hit the top of my foot.  CRASH!  My feet are now surrounded in glass.

 

I hear the chain smoker over there quietly say, "Is that girl okay?  Don't look over there.  Is she okay?"  LIKE WE CAN'T SEE YOU!!!  YOUR TABLE ISN'T EVEN 10 INCHES FROM MINE.  The daughter gets a cell phone call and, of course, gets up to go outside and take it.  Everyone else around me is asking if I'm okay and the redneck regime is IGNORING me.  Finally, FINALLY, I get up to switch sides of the table and the son says, "Sorry about that.  I told her not to touch it."  I smile...because I really didn't need to speak at that moment.

 

A few minutes later the son looks over to me and asks, "Can I borrow your pepper?" 

 

I said, "As long as you don't throw it at me."

 

-b

I've been up since 4:45 AM and someone around me smells like coconuts.  It is irritating the crap out of me.

 

-b

...I ask you, WHEN will we be able to purchase do-it-at-home lyposuction kits?  WHEN???????

 

-b

Ruby's back.  ...or should I say the circus is.  You'd think that two dogs wouldn't be much more to deal with than one, especially when the 2nd one weighs 5 pounds.  But, you're wrong.  There are jealousy issues, sharing issues, marking issues...issues galore.  Mom decided she couldn't have Ruby so I met her in Lexington yesterday and got Ruby back.  Now what?  I'll let you know once I figure that out.  Ruby LOVES my Mom and, truthfully, Mom loved her.  Don't you hate it when things should work but they don't?  Sigh...

 

We cleaned out my car yesterday once we got back--vacuumed, polished--the works.  I'd forgotten that my dash is black and that I have a backseat.  I'd thought my backseat was a library/clothing store.  It's like I have a new car now.

 

Some things I've been keeping in my car:

 

1.  A comprehensive book of poetry edited by Bill Moyers

2.  The hardback of "Sufficient Grace" by Darnell Arnoult

3.  Two standard sized notebooks and one smaller one

4.  My date book

5.  A rain hat

6.  Fishing pole

7.  Tackle box

8.  A knee brace

9.  A brand new color washing brush

10.  Keyboard stand

11.  Yamaha S08 keyboard

12.  A box of 64 crayons

13.  Two tupperware bowls

14.  A rip-off Prada purse with a broken zipper

15.  A broken cell phone

16.  A free pass to the Country Music Hall of Fame

17.  A Gucci hobo bag

18.  A neck pillow

19.  Five pairs of earrings

20.  O Magazine (September & October)

21.  Pastel Chalks

22.  14 loose pieces of paper with lyrics to 14 different songs in various stages of completion

 

...I'll stop now, but there's still more.

 

Off to sit in my car just for the fun of it--

 

-b