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2月28日

...and we're off!

I typically play keyboard.  This is what I do without thinking much about it.  I have a little one that I take with me when I do writer's nights in town that doesn't sound quite as bad as a Casio from Wal-Mart would, but close.  But, playing the keyboard at writer's nights in Nashville is not the simplest thing.  It takes a bit more to set it up and pull it down, and no one has any patience for it.  I'm very, very quick anymore, but I'd still never be able to be as quick as the guitar players.
 
I'm a terrible guitar player.  Probably worse than that, actually, and yet it makes me mad that it's so hard for me when I can play whatever I want on the piano.  Periodically, I pull it back out and decide to be a guitar player again.  Last night was one of those nights.
 
Here's the thing--I play everything too slow on the piano.  I know this.  Everyone I write with knows this.
 
Well, last night I played a couple of up-tempo tunes on the guitar.  ...I HAVE NEVER PLAYED A SONG SO FAST IN MY LIFE!  I literally couldn't keep up with myself.  I was cutting words out of the chorus...did the whole chorus in one breath!  Even worse, I think it kept getting faster as it went.  Holy cow.  I even laughed straight into the mike during that split-second interlude...
 
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I'll probably do it again tonight.  I like being out of my comfort zone sometimes...and it made the round go a lot faster. 
2月23日

A La...

I got a copy of the print version of "Over and Over" the other day.  I sat it on my piano without looking at it till last night.  When I opened it I saw the following above the first verse:
 
"Tenor Solo (a la Randy Travis)"
 
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I'm sorry, did you say "Randy Travis???"  As in the country singer?  I mean, if Randy Travis wanted to cut the song, that's totally fine.  I don't think he'd sound right on it, but whatever.  But to just randomly reference Randy Travis in the print version of a southern gospel song that would be performed by church choirs...well, it just made me giggle.
 
I don't recall an "a la" note in any of my other print songs...not that there couldn't be one.  But, I'd like to think I would've noticed before if various famous people were referenced.  ...Soprano Solo (a la Celine Dion)...Tenor Solo (a la Sting)...Tenor Solo (a la Pavarotti)...Baritone Solo (a la Johnny Cash).
 
...that might be fun to start doing.
 
-b
 
 
 
2月22日

Coming Out with It

I make greeting cards. 
I'm like a little kid in first grade.  I cut, I paste, I stamp, I color, I fold and then...I admire.  I display the new ones on my armoire which is a focal point of my living room.  This helps me decide if they're finished or not.  Once I'm convinced they are, I make Jim admire them, too.  He says things like, "Wow, you're very talented," "I'm so proud," or "Hmmm...you really overachieved this time."  He's a good man.  And, then, I mail them to people.  My friend Kelley gets the most because she puts them on her refrigerator.   
 

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-b

2月16日

re: hymns, inappropriate

There is simply never a time when it is appropriate to go into a public restroom, perch yourself in a stall, and then sing at full voice as if you haven't a care in the world.  It is even less appropriate to be singing a hymn like "He Lifted Me Out." 
 
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Make it stop.  Seriously...
 
-b
2月15日

New Habits Die Hard

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I've developed this habit of forgetting to unbuckle my seatbelt before trying to get out of the car.  It's starting to get ridiculous.  There is a subtle, but real, seatbelt burn on the side of my neck after this morning's debacle.

-b

2月14日

Valentine's Day

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oops...

-b

(I know what V-day is like when you're not seeing someone.  This is for all of you feeling that way today!)

2月11日

Grammy snippets

  • The Police are back.  Sting sounded better than ever.  Clearly everyone hasn't aged as well as Sting, but it's the Grammy's...and the music is what counts.  Roxanne, turn on your red light!  I love Sting.  LOVE him.
  • Good for Mary J. Blige.  Nice to see a star genuinely feel honored. 
  • Corrine Bailey Rae (spelling?), John Legend and John Mayer--they all did full songs.  All did slower songs.  Surprised me.  Sounded good, though.  Nice to see actually talented people celebrated.
  • Stevie Wonder is always a highlight for me.  No explanation offered.
  • Is it just me or is Beyonce singing better than ever?  I suppose you have no choice but to rise to the occasion when Jennifer Hudson upstages you in the movie with that song--yes, the song that needs no further reference than "that song."  But, Beyonce's doing it.  Now, someone make her stop striking that awkward pose on the red carpet.
  • Fergie...hire a new make-up artist.
  • Dixie Chicks--hey, I voted for them.  I thought they did good work on this record.  HOWEVER, my official statement on their showing tonight:  FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND HOLY, PREPARE A THANK YOU SPEECH. Natalie's just not likeable enough when she's shooting from the hip, and they're too talented to irritate me that much when the speak.
  • Justin Timberlake is actually talented, isn't he?  No, seriously, he really is.
  • Carrie Underwood should be thanking God for Simon Cowell.  Makes you wonder how many other hugely talented people are out there who've never had a chance.  Rascal Flatts...NEVER sing without your tuner.  We like you best that way.
  • Could someone tell Christina Aguilera "enough with the Marilyn Monroe look alike stuff?  It's not interesting anymore (if it ever was.)
  • In case you missed it, The Police are back...which includes Sting...whom I love.  He's the definition of a true artist. 
  • And from the other critic in my house, Pete, my dog, climbed up and got under the blanket in the middle of show.  He doesn't seem all that impressed with anyone.
-b

2月9日

Body Image

The constant battle with weight, body image, my complete and utter disdain for having my photo taken never ends.  In all my life, I cannot recall having had a single second of peace with this issue.  Not one. 
 
What I can say, however, is this:  I weigh less than Tyra Banks. 
 

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That's all I have to hold on to right now, gang.

-b

2月7日

Roll Down Your Window and Drive Songs

An old friend of mine from college posted the following on his blog today.  I'm reprinting without permission right now...so I hope he's cool with it.  Surely if I go on and on about how handsome and talented and smart he is, he'll forgive me...

R.J...please?!?!

So, from R.J. Gibson, great poet and all around funny man, I present the following: 

"Here are the top 40 tracks for Astronaut Lisa Nowak's drive from Houston to Orlando International Airport. She had to do something to pass the time and talking herself down certainly wasn't an option.

1. Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My CarBilly Ocean

2. Every Breath You TakeThe Police.

3. ObsessionAnimotion

4. JoleneDolly Parton

5. To Make You Feel My LoveGarth Brooks

6. The More You Ignore Me (the Closer I Get)Morrisey

7. I Drove All NightCyndi Lauper

8. You Belong to MeBob Dylan

9. She’s Got YouPatsy Cline

10. He’s Just My BillOliver! Original Cast Recording

11. Can’t Get Next to Youthe Temptations

12. One Way or AnotherBlondie

13. 500 Milesthe Proclaimers

14. Who’s That GirlEurythmics

15. Behind the WheelDepeche Mode

16. CreepRadiohead

17. ’97 Bonnie and ClydeTori Amos (Eminem cover)

18. Crazy in LoveBeyonce

19. Tiny Cities Made of Ashes (Live at the BBC)Modest Mouse

20. Number 1 CrushGarbage

21. Are You Lonesome Tonight?Elvis Presley

22. Take Me OutFranz Ferdinand

23. Always on My MindWillie Nelson

24. If I Had a HammerPeter Paul and Mary

25. You Oughta KnowAlanis Morrisette

26. In Your EyesPeter Gabriel

27. I Want YouMaddona w/Massive Attack (Marvin Gaye cover)

28. Sour TimesPortishead

29. Are You Gonna Go My WayLenny Kravitz

30. CloserNine Inch Nails

31. Livin’ La Vida LocaRicky Martin

32. Six Days on the RoadSawyer Brown

33. I Wanna Come OverMelissa Etheridge

34. Lovefoolthe Cardigans

35. Jesus Take the WheelCarrie Underwood

36. Hopelessly Devoted to YouOlivia Newton John

37. I’ve Got My Mind Set on YouGeorge Harrison

38. Drivin'The Kinks

39. Does He Love You (Like He Loves Me)?Reba McEntire

40. HelloLionel Richie




2月6日

Astronauts wear Diapers

Okay, seriously.  You're driving 900 miles from Houston to Orlando.  HOW, I ask you, is there not a single moment in which you think to yourself, "I am an ASTRONAUT.  I am a highly skilled, highly trained professional.  I am one of the few humans ever to travel to outer space...and I am going to confront my CRUSH'S girlfriend while I'm wearing a DIAPER.  I need to pull over."  WHERE are the Aha! moments when you so desperately need them?

From today's news:

Astronaut Charged With Attempted Murder

"Nowak raced from Houston to Orlando wearing diapers in the car so she wouldn't have to stop to go to the bathroom, authorities said. Astronauts wear diapers during launch and re-entry.

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Dressed in a wig and a trench coat, she waited for Shipman's plane to land and then boarded the same airport shuttle bus Shipman took to get to her car, police said. Shipman told police she noticed someone following her, hurried inside the car and locked the doors, according to the arrest affidavit.

Nowak rapped on the window, tried to open the car door and asked for a ride. Shipman refused but rolled down the car window a few inches when Nowak started crying, the statement said. Nowak then sprayed a chemical into Shipman's car, the affidavit said. Shipman drove to the parking lot booth and police were called."

-b

2月5日

birthdays

Denise Duhamel is one of my favorite poets.  She makes me giggle.  You may or may not get her, but I'm posting this anyway. 

On Being Born The Same Exact Day Of The Same Exact Year As Boy George
 

 

We must have clamored for the same mother, hurried for
the same womb.
I know it now as I read that my birthday is his.
Since the first time I saw his picture, I sensed something—
and with a fierce bonding and animosity
began following his career.

Look where I am and look where he is!
There is a book documenting his every haircut
while all my image-building attempts go unnoticed, even
by my friends.
I'm too wimpy to just dye my curls red
or get them straightened. I, sickeningly moral,

talked about chemicals when I should have been
hanging out with George's pal, Marilyn.
He would have set me right:
Stop your whining and put on this feather tuxedo. Look,
do you want to be famous or not?

In the latest articles, Boy George is claiming he's not
really happy. Hmm, I think, just like me.
When he comes to New York and stays in hotels in
Gramercy Park
maybe he feels a pull to the Lower East Side,
wanders towards places where I am, but not knowing me,
doesn't know why.

One interviewer asks if he wishes he were a woman.
Aha! I read on with passion: and a poet?—I bet you'd like
that—
You wouldn't have to sing anymore, do those tiring tours.
George, we could switch. You could come live at my place,
have some privacy, regain your sense of self.

So I begin my letter. Dear Boy George,
Do you ever sit and wonder what's gone wrong?
If there's been some initial mistake?
Well, don't be alarmed, but there
has been. 

Denise Duhamel

-b


All dressed up...

I got all ready for church yesterday morning and trekked out in the 26 degree weather only to arrive to an empty parking lot.  Church was cancelled due to the weather.  Two days before that I went to the office not realizing it was opening on a 2-hour delay due to the weather.  The thing is, though, that the roads were fine both times. 
 
Winters in Nashville are harder for me to navigate than I thought, I guess. 
 
 
 
 
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-b
2月2日

Forgetful

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Bought Shawn Colvin's CD, "These Four Walls," last night.  I'd forgotten how good she is. 
 
-b
2月1日

Retrospect

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I've spent the bulk of the evening going through old notebooks and old files on my computer looking at different songs I've written.
 
I've labored over some real stinkers in my day.
 
-b