We ate the Melting Pot last night.  It's a fondue restaurant.  We had a coupon which expired today so we had to go.

I'm still too full to type this morning. 

...and we didn't even have dessert.

-b

I'm going to Alaska. 

I can't tell you when because my Mom says I'm not allowed to announce it on the world wide web (refer to the Los Angeles trip from last January when I got in trouble.  Yes, in trouble as a grown up.)

So, I'm just mentioning it...randomly. 

I guess I can tell you that it's going to happen in 2007.  That's not too specific.

hmmm...so sometime within the next 6 months I'm going to Alaska...just for a few days...and no, I'm not going on a cruise.

Just going to hang out in Anchorage...

Maybe I'll take a few pictures...

 

 

I'm back.  Boring as ever.  I got a mysterious back injury at the end of last week and was pretty much grounded.  I forget how much I hate sitting still until I don't have a choice.  I spend all kinds of time wishing I had a day off to sit around and do nothing, but when I finally get one (or three), I feel guilty for sitting around and doing nothing.  Vicious circle.  I did read an entire book on Saturday...one of those long paperback mysteries that have nothing to do with making me a better person or solving the crisis' of the planet.  Judge me.  It's fine.

 

I had to miss Wayne's impromptu birthday gathering, too, because of my inability to sit comfortably.  So, Happy Birthday, Wayne!  Stay the way you are and you'll go far.

 

 

 

It's mormon season.

They're swarming my neighborhood.

Sigh...

 

 

Him:  Belinda, seriously, you're writing better than you've ever written before.

Me:  Wow...thanks.

Him:  You're writing songwriter's songs.  Songs that other songwriter's love, the kind that blow me away when I go to the Bluebird.

Me:  Cool.

Him:  Now, bring me three, up-tempo completely substance-less songs next week.

Me:  Right.

Today, I was watering my flowers out front.  I was holding an arm full of things on the left and trying to balance with the hose in my right hand. 

 

Needless to say, the hose slipped out of my hand and turned its wrath on me. 

 

My dress:  soaked.  My hair:  soaked.  My shoes:  soaked.

 

I'm simply too cool for words.

 

-b

When I was little I used to introduce myself to people as Olivia Newton John.

 

 

I just thought that was worth mentioning.

-b

My next door neighbor is a lovely woman.  She's one of the few...okay, one of two, normal people on the street. 

 

Our houses are extremely close to one another and I've planted some flowers on the side of my front yard that actually back up to her house (her house is on my lot line.)  She also has flowers around the front of her house, so it's more like the flowers all kind of go together. 

 

Well, today, I was standing behind my privacy fence watering my backyard flowers when I started getting really wet.  At first I thought I was somehow spraying myself.  Then, I realized that my neighbor was being kind and watering my flowers out front...and some of the spray was coming over the fence and so she was actually watering ME, too.

 

-b

If it's Tuesday and you tell me to come to your office 'next' Thursday, I'm not going to come two days from now--I'm going to come 9 days from now.  If I were to come on the Thursday which is two days from now, I would be wrong because that day is 'this' Thursday.  'This' Thursday cannot qualify as 'next' Thursday just because it is the next Thursday that is happening.  When you say 'next' Thursday, there is implied skippage of a Thursday, which would be 'this' Thursday that we're skipping.  See?

 

-b

 

 

I met a gentleman who wears an orange pot on his head at all times as a hat.  The pot keeps the aliens from intercepting his thoughts.  There's a conspiracy of some sort, he tells me, and this is one way to counteract it.  He also wears various paper clips on his clothes as another means to help deflect the currents.

 

I kept thinking about his mother and how happy she must've been when he was born and she held him for the first time, or heard his first words, watched his first steps... 

 

I'm kind of sad for her today.

 

-b 

I had to go to the doctor this morning.  Needed some medication that I couldn't get on the street. 

I called yesterday and the receptionist was in a FOUL mood.  Holy cow.  She was Satan.  She basically said I was supposed to come in every 3 months (news to me) and that I needed to come in today having fasted.  I told her I'd just had bloodwork in August and she said, "Do you want to come in or not?" 

 

Okay, Satan, fine.  I'll FAST! 

 

So, this morning I went in and, first, Octavia (the nurse) weighed me...and then she subtracted 5 from the number.  I hope Octavia wins the lottery. 

 

Next, Octavia took the blood.  (I HATE that rubber band thing they put around your arm--makes me want to pull out my teeth or something).  So, the needle is in my arm and the blood is being extracted and Octavia says, "Do you know why we're taking blood today?  You just had bloodwork in August?"  To which I replied, "Because Carol was in a hateful mood yesterday."  Octavia laughed.  I wasn't kidding.

 

Next, I see the doc.  I've been going there for a while and I really like him.  We do the once over thing--blood pressure, good...heartbeat, present.  Then he says, "Do you know why we took blood today?"    Again, I say, "Because Carol was in a hateful mood yesterday when I called."  He looked at me, kind of grinned, and then said, "Well, we'll check your cholesterol levels."  I said, "Just for fun?  Since I really didn't need blood drawn, huh?"  He grinned again.

 

All I can say is that if I were the type of person who was scared of needles, Carol would've had to die.  My brother, for example, would've burned the entire building down--he has the most irrational fear of doctors of all time. 

 

Anyway, I guess the point of the story is that if you call your doctor and the receptionist is hateful, don't give her your name and hang up immediately.  Call back on another day.  This time I lost some blood...next time it could be finger!

 

-b

Hi, Joel!

See you Saturday...or Sunday...

Stay the way you are and you'll go far.

BFF-

-b

Monday is weigh in day.  Well, to be honest, I weigh in every day, but Monday morning is the one that I write down.  It doesn't matter if it is up 5 pounds from Sunday (which has happened), whatever is on the read out on Monday is what it is.

 

So, a couple weeks ago, I got up and weighed.  I'd lost a little, but not really anything worth celebrating.  I was irritated as I'd had a flawless week.  I went on about my morning business and for some reason (probably self-loathing) I went back in the bathroom and got back on the scale.  I'd gained 3 pounds in about 20 minutes. 

 

Whoa...

 

I jumped off and pretended that didn't happen for a second and went on doing other stuff.  But, the obsessive compulsive side of me insisted that I go back in.  This time I was down 3.2 from the original first try. 

 

Needless to say, that's the number I wrote down and I didn't get back on. 

 

Last week I did the same thing.  Various configurations of gains of losses throughout the hour and I took the lowest.  (Someone actually suggested I take the average.  I called her fool and told her never to speak to me again.)

 

And, this morning, again, the same thing. 

 

I've heard of weight fluxuating, but I kind of thought that was a day to day thing.  Leave it to me to make it a minute to minute thing. 

 

Honestly, gang, it's a wonder I'm not in an institution at this point.  Padded walls...jell-o on Sundays...yes, SUGAR FREE jell-o...gheesh...

 

-b

So, Mom and Dad went to hear Jeff & Sheri Easter last night in WV.  They were playing about 40 minutes from my hometown.

 

I realized yesterday that Dad had never heard an artist do one of my songs live.  How about that?  I've been writing all these years and had all these songs out and Dad had never heard one live. 

 

Well, anyway, Jeff told the audience that "Over and Over" was their first #1 song after all their years on the road and then he announced they had some special guests in the audience--and he had Mom and Dad stand up and he told everyone they were my parents.  Writing songs is fun for a lot of reasons, but the story about last night as relayed to me by Mom is another fun highlight of my career. 

 

I can honestly say I appreciate them celebrating my parents at the concert even more than I appreciate them doing our song...and I appreciate them doing our song a WHOLE lot! 

 

Jeff & Sheri remain a class act in my book. 

 

-b

 

Marty Funderburk is a lint licker.

 

 

-b

 

p.s.  If you haven't seen the commercial I reference, just wait.  It's the best ever.

I was going to blog about something new today, but I looked over yesterday's entry and I've decided that it deserves another day of pondering. 

 

Let's suppose you've worked somewhere for quite a while and you've had a particularly rough year at work.  Not just you, but the whole staff.  Your office has lost a lot of employees which haven't been replaced so the work has fallen to everyone else.  You are now overworked, micromanaged, verbally abused on a daily basis and basically burnt out. 

 

Your management calls you in to a staff meeting to say, 'thanks for all your hard work.'  Then the manager presents you with the ultimate token of appreciation:  a coupon for $1 off a purchase of Wendy's entree salad AND beverage...which expires May 31, 2007.

 

 

...is this the gift horse we always hear about?  ...maybe it's the gift horse's behind.

Just wondering.

 

-b