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6月30日 close, but no diceI am not Catholic. I don't know much about being a Catholic or what Catholics believe. My grandmother was Catholic and I've been to the Vatican, but that's as close as I've gotten. So, I'll tell you about this conversation we had over the weekend, but don't be offended if I get the saints wrong. It was a six person conversation that went something like this:
"If you want to sell your house, then you bury St. Joseph in your yard upside down."
"Really? I wonder why Joseph."
"Because he was a carpenter."
"Jesus was a carpenter, too."
"Wow, I so would not want to be the one who buried Jesus upside down in the yard."
"Well, maybe it would be a good thing-I mean, to have Jesus in your yard."
"Upside down?"
"Wait, I thought it was St. Christopher?"
"You thought St. Christopher was Jesus?"
"No, I thought St. Christopher was St. Joseph."
"What?"
"I thought you buried St. Christopher in the yard if you wanted to sell your house."
"St. Christopher was the patron saint of travel. Why would you bury the traveling saint in your yard?"
"Well, I guess that explains why my friends house hasn't sold."
-b
6月27日 There's your trouble...I'm heading out of town this weekend for a writing retreat with my cousin. A big part of me wants/needs to stay home and continue working on the wall for the client. I'm down to the entryway and it's not pretty...literally...so I wiped it all off and Jim painted over it. (Thank God for Jim.) And the wall will be finished by Thursday. No exceptions.
I seriously almost cancelled the retreat and then I remembered the reason I told Darnell in the first place that I would do this is because I knew that no matter what, no matter how out of whack things were, I could count on those particular weekends to write. I haven't written a song in two weeks. I haven't had the mental fortitude to even listen for song ideas in daily conversation. I haven't played the piano or strummed the guitar. Judge me if you must, but, frankly, over these past few weeks, life has been living me rather than me living life. 
Sometimes those things you love and the those things you do get rearranged and you just have to get your train back on track. We'll get 'er turned around, gang. It's just going to take a little doing.
Make your weekend great.
-b
6月25日 Lortab WednesdayThis morning I stopped in the office for a couple of hours. Oh dear. This girl who works there, we'll call her Tessa for the story, had a tooth pulled yesterday. The dentist gave her Lortab to take for pain. Tessa is always nicely dressed, perfectly matched and pulled together. So, when she handed me a half-eaten oatmeal cake and asked me to throw it away, words slurred together, I was most definitely taken aback. That's when another woman came up to us and said to me, "Tessa took two Lortabs this morning before coming to work." So I said to Tessa, "Did you bring one for everybody?" She laughed so hard tears streaming down her face, that we almost couldn't get her to her desk to sit. OUT of character. Waaaayyyy out. She stumbled around, she couldn't give us her husband's cell phone number, she couldn't really remember where she was going at any given moment, she laughed, she cried, then she laughed again…it was something to behold. And, frankly, we laughed and laughed and laughed. At one point, we'd gotten her a Sprite. Just when I thought she was going to be seated, a guy she didn't know walked by and she stopped him. With her eyes half-open, she asked this guy to open her Sprite so she wouldn't mess up her nails. After a couple hours, we finally convinced her that she needed to go home. Our plan was that one person would drive her home in her car and I would follow, and then I'd drop the other person back at the office. About the time we were leaving, her husband called. Tessa answered and then finally someone took the phone from her and told her husband what was going on and that we were getting ready to take her home. You wanna' know what her husband said? Try, "Don't touch her car." I absolutely kid you not. His wife can't walk a straight line, she's trying to take her keys to drive home, and we're trying to keep her from some disciplinary action and he actually said, "Don't touch the car." In case you're wondering, it's a Nissan Altima. I know!!! You thought it was a psycho-luxury sports car, didn't you? I KNOW! He told us to take her home in of our own cars and that he would make arrangements to get the car. And so we did. …we just never know about people, do we? While I can tell you that she got NOTHING accomplished, I can also attest that she had the most fun day at work ever. And, from the way things look from here on the 7th row, she very well might've needed a day to let loose. I hope she popped another one when she got home. -b 6月24日 Guilt PostPete has an ear infection. I found this out when I took him for his yearly check up. It's a yeast infection in his ear. Who knew this was possible? Anyway, this is why I can't have children. I can't take car of my DOG! I'm over-ridden with guilt. 
-b
p.s. I want to eat at Hell's Kitchen next season. How do I get invited? Six degrees, anyone? Who do we know? Put your heads together.
6月22日 Awesome and PerfectI finished a wall. I have no pictures for you this time, but I will soon. When the client walked in, I was up on the ladder and had just put the last swipe on. He said, "Belinda, this is awsome. It is perfect." Okay, I'd like to hear that every single time I paint for someone henceforth. Actually, let's just be honest here. I'd like to hear that every time I write a song, too. Trust me, it makes it a lot more fun. Anyway, I have an entry way to finish next and I'll be working some late nights this week to get it done. Here's what I'm learning about myself: I'd rather work hard all week and rest on the weekend than work on weekends. I simply need the down time.
Unfortunately, working on the weekend also caused me to miss both Wayne and Joel. It's not often they're both in town at the same time. Bummer. But, if they saw the wall they'd both understand.
 I hope you guys are well and that there's no creamer in your coffee filters.
-b
6月21日 Deal Breakers and suchThis morning I got up and was fixing coffee. Gang, I filled the coffee filter with Fat Free French Vanilla Powder Creamer. Well, I didn't fill it, I put 4 teaspoons in before I realized what I was doing. See??? I told you! I'm totally losing it. Anxiety.
So, I bought a car.
Yep. I just did it. I know it's probably goofy to pray about a car, but it was just too overwhelming. I just told God that He had to know I was on the verge of a breakdown after the whole coffee creamer episode, and I asked Him to send me to the right car. I'm not trying to be overly spiritual here--remember, concussion, dead guy, coffee creamer, etc???? Sometimes a girl just needs a little help.
We stopped at this dealership to look at a Toyota Matrix. I admit I wasn't all that excited about driving a light blue station wagon, but the price was nice. We looked in the car and were snooping around and actually asked the salesman, Sid, to grab the keys for a test drive. But while he was gone, I realized that the car didn't have automatic windows. Gang, I just do NOT roll up my windows manually. My Dad laughs at me when I say that, but, really. We don't have to do that anymore, and so, sad as it is, that's a deal breaker. (You're judging me, but you know I'm right.)
Jim went to tell Sid that we weren't interested and that's when Sid said, "Well, I have a Honda Accord for that exact same price."
To me, that was providencial. After a test drive, after going to another car lot even, I just took a breath and listened to that still small voice. You know the one...it's screaming, "NO CAR PAYMENT! GREAT CAR!" We went back and I bought it. I wrote a check for an amount that would've seemed laughable to me had I not just gotten a "collision check" from my insurance company. And Jim, knowing me like he does, offered to dump the contents of my trash can into the car so that it felt more like mine. You know in the floorboard I need stray papers and books and shoes and fishing poles (not kidding) and other asundry treasures. I'm lucky that Jim knows me that well. However, I'm going to try to turn over a new leaf...try.
-b
p.s. Gina Boe is a beautiful person who sends extremely kind emails. I appreciate her.
6月19日 Then We Came to the EndI have too much to do right now. My brother even commented on how anxious I seem. I can't remember the topic of the very sentence I started sometimes. In those cases, I usually just stop talking. He would be telling me something and at a completely inappropriate moment in his story, I would say, "Now, what?" Anxiety. That's his diagnosis, at least. And he's pretty good at these things.
So, this evening, because everything is just a little off, I wasn't able to go work on the wall like I was supposed to. Instead, I decided to go test drive cars. I'm buying a car on Saturday morning and I still don't know what I want. I can't put this off any longer, I thought. I went to the Mazda dealership and drove one. The car salesman told me he was a Christian. Why was I immediately nervous? Probably because most of the time when someone says, "I am a good Christian," to me, its followed by a good cussing...or stalking...or something else completely paradoxical. I did ask this guy enough questions to find out that he actually does go to David Moffitt's church and knows who David is...which means he must at least pseudo participate in worship...which still doesn't mean he doesn't stalk people, but that's another story.
I then went to dinner. Cheap Mexican, as we call it. Marty Funderburk calls it Orange Mexican (because the building is orange) but Cheap Mexican (because it's cheap...well, and its Mexican...) has stuck with us...and I've lived on this side of town longer, so I win. (Did you know that Marty lives practically across the street from me?) Anyway, I love the staff and the food. So, I'm reading, "Then We Came to the End," when 'Jimmy,' one of my favorite waiters stops to ask why I'm alone and what am I reading. I'm alone because Jim is camping, and I told him what I was reading. I was on page #224 about halfway down the page and my eyes were watering. I told Jimmy that had he not interrupted me, I would probably be weeping. If you read this book, and I'm not saying you should, you probably won't be as affected as I was in that section. But, I was affected enough to text my brother, who is at an R.E.M. concert, to tell him I wanted to sob. So, if you read the book, then maybe you'll have a little more insight to who I am. Or not. I'm very slippery. ha
I left the restaurant thinking I would go to the grocery store to get some milk before coming home. I got on the freeway to go up one exit to mine. As I was getting off the exit, I saw some emergency vehicles on the overpass and a motorcycle--a crotch rocket as most of us call them--on its side. Good thing I'm getting off here, I thought. I exited, got to the end of the ramp and turned left to go back under the underpass to the grocery store. That's when I saw him. The lifeless body lying there in the road under the bridge. I don't know how I knew he was dead, but I did. Maybe it was the way the emergency people were standing, no one in a particular hurry, but he was dead, alright. And, I was the only car driving by. I had to slow down because there was hardly room for a car to get through. The policeman waved me on and gave me a sympatheic smile when he saw that I was crying. I don't know why I was crying, really. It just seemed like someone should. For all the times I'd complained that people who rode those things were insane, that people who rode them 90 miles an hour down the interstate put us all in danger, and for all the fussing I'd done that I couldn't believe more of those people hadn't gotten killed on those things, someone had done just that. Someone was lying dead in the road next to me. And, it was sadder than I could ever explain to you. Maybe on some weird subconscious level I was rooting for them to successfully deny the seeminlyg inevitable. Maybe that's why I was so affected. Maybe I wanted someone to defy destiny.
Nonetheless, someone had come to the end.
And now I'm home safe.
Who's to say what's fair and what isn't.
-b 6月18日 Back from NYCI've been in NYC. Who else could go to NYC and have a cab driver from West Africa try to give her a demo of his songs? I told him I was songwriter. That was my mistake. After that, I officially became an accountant named Doris who lives about 2 hours outside of Nashville. People never try to give their demos to accountants.
We walked maybe halfway across the Brooklyn Bridge and then turned around. It was too hot and humid. I'm a brat.
Anyway, we had a good time and I'm sorry that my brother is leaving. It's the right decision, but it's still a bummer.
I'm pretty zonked right now so I'll stop before I say weird and/or inappropriate things.
-b 6月12日 Lesson for ThursdayWhen replying to an email, always be sure you check the "To" line so you know exactly who you're replying to.
Suffice it to say I've given my friends reasons to live after this one: they want to live to tell it at my funeral.
-b
6月11日 The Whole World is......a car lot when you have to buy a new car and you've put zero thought into what kind of car you might want if your current one actually did fall apart. Every grocery store parking lot, every driveway, every side street, all advertisements for this vehicle or that one. The problem is that my last car was perfect for me. It was a Toyota Corolla S and it was one of the true loves of my life. It was small but it still had plenty of room, it got great gas mileage, it had a sunroof and it had all the gadgets that made me happy. I know, I could just get another one, but that seems kind of uninteresting, really. 
So, as I examine every parking lot I enter and all the cars in traffic with me, I am considering my needs, my budget and my poor, dear lost corolla (RIP). I can't promise you I won't end up with another one (which would be my third), but I think I should at least test drive something else.
Suggestions and 'not-so-much' suggestions are welcome, gang. I have about 14 days to make it happen.
-b 6月10日 another questionI'm writing with Sue and I just went to open up microsoft works (because I'm too cheap to pay for Microsoft Word) and right beside the template for "blank document" is a template for a "brochure." One has to wonder, is it EVER inappropriate to create a brochure?
I may write this new tune in brochure form.
-b
6月9日 You Know what's Depressing?When you're driving 25 miles per hour in your paid-off car, and you TOTAL it.
That's depressing.
-b
6月6日 Coffee, anyone?I washed the pot, cleaned off the hot plate area, put new coffee grounds in the filter and poured the water in. I even thought to myself, "Do you want the beans or the pre-ground coffee?" I have one of those pots that can either ground your beans fresh or it can make coffee from pre-ground beans. And, I had decided to go for pre-ground beans because that process is quieter. I pressed the buttons and went on about my business.
Later, I was coming back down the hall and smelled the coffee. It smelled nice.
Why is this blog-worthy, you ask?
Well...it was 9:22 PM LAST NIGHT AND I HAVE NO STINKING IDEA WHY ON EARTH I MADE COFFEE.
I'm officially losing my mind.
-b 6月4日 Ummm...HIT THE BRAKE???????I had a writing session today that I had really been looking foward to. People were telling me from all corners that he and I would write well together, and far beyond that, I like the guy as a person. Further, his wife is delightful and that's such an nice plus.
I was down on music row, I put my signal on, slowed down and began my left turn. Next thing I know, I feel a huge, hard impact on my left and my car is now out of control on the sidewalk. I think I took out a stop sign and a one way sign before I said out loud, "Okay, God, this is serious and I need my car to stop." You know what the still small voice said?
"Hit the brake."
The Creator of the Universe had to take time out from all the important duties for something so OBVIOUS. I'm not even kidding. And you know what? Yeah, that did it. "Hit the brake." duh?? 
After a dramatic trip to the E/R with delightful paramedic people, I have a slight concussion and pretty significantly sprained ankle, but nothing is broken and I'm home safe on the couch. Gang, I still can't tell you what happened. I don't know where she came from, but she bent the frame of the car and I had to crawl out of the passenger side. Needless to say, it was a very dramatic way to avoid a writing session. I'm sooooo hoping my car isn't totaled. That would be such a bummer.
I guess the important thing, though, is that I'm okay.
...or is the important thing that Lee save that great idea for the next time we write? hmmm... No, I know. I KNOW! It' just a big bummer all the way around.
Here's to a less eventful day tomorrow.
-b 6月3日 James is back from China...and here's a link to a news story they did on his trip.
If I were cool, I could embed that link, but I'm not.
Anyway, the song he's playing is the one I told you about the post, "The Real Stuff." It's called "Peace Will Find You Here." Neat-o.
-b
6月2日 Happy JunePete turned ten yestserday. And, so, because he has brought me so much joy throughout the past decade, he got a trip to the dog park and his favorite wet dog food--beef, bacon and cheese. Poor little guy was so full and so tired by the time we finished up the festivities that he went to bed around 8...and let out a big belch. Nice. We also introduced Bernice to wet dog food. Gang, Bernice was so excited about it that she literally did a hand stand into the bowl. I guess it's because her head is bigger than her body, but she leaned into the bowl and the next thing I knew, her two back legs were straight up in the air and she was eating away. THAT is a happy puppy.
I had a nice weekend. I saw a movie with the girls on Saturday afternoon and then Joel and I had dinner on Saturday night. There's just nothing like comfortable familiarity, is there? I (supportively) hate that Joel lives in California now, but I'm so relieved that we're beyond distance. It was a good dinner and we needed the time to vent about life in a safe place. Safe places...you have to earn them, but they're worth it.
Speaking of friends, the Gaither tour was in my hometown on Friday night so my Mom, Dad, Aunt and Uncle went. Wayne is traveling on the tour right now and he had dinner with them. It means a lot when your friends are good to your family--even though he likes them anyway.
I'm writing with J.P. and Irene today. Remember them? They got the free trip to Ireland a few months back. Their article is in the June issue of "Budget Travel Magazine." Don't miss it. It's a good one.
I'm starting a new wall job this week so I might be a little scarce. Lots of work, but it should be fun.
Happy June-
-b
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