Pete has been having some anxiety issues of late.  This is most likely because I've been fostering a 5 lb. chihuahua named Ruby.  He's very jealous of Ruby, and so he's been doing some odd things. 

 

Hence, you can understand why I was not necessarily shocked on Tuesday when I got into my car and realized as I was about to sit my purse on my lap that he had...err...'marked' it.  Yuck.  So, I took everything out of it except my lipgloss and put it in the floorboard of the passenger seat.  I'd planned to get the purse out when I got back home and wash it...or throw it away. 

 

I went on about my errands and when I got home, I backed my car into the drive to unload my groceries.  I threw the contents of my purse into one of the bags and carried it inside with everything else.  I did that and then one thing led to another and I forgot to go back out to get the purse.  I also noted to myself that I'd left the car unlocked, but there wasn't anything in it so I put off going out to lock it.  I then forgot about it.

 

I didn't leave the house again till yesterday afternoon.  As I walked out the front door, I saw that the passenger door wasn't closed tightly...odd.  I walked over and opened the door so I could re-shut it.  At this, I see that my glove compartment is open and has been riffled through.  Half the contents are spread about on my passenger seat...weird.  I shut the door and walked around to the driver's side and got in.  I then realize the CD's which were inside my center console are on my passenger seat...hmmm.  I open the console and see that my cell phone charger is still there...what? 

 

Now, I'm driving down the road thinking, "Someone broke into my car to look through my stuff.  Surely not.  There must be SOMETHING missing."  For the life of me, I cannot find anything missing, and I'm fully aware that I'm truly not that interesting of a person.  It simply couldn't have been the paparazzi.

 

I think back to Tuesday evening and realize that Pete had started barking uncontrollably at one point right after I'd gotten the groceries in.  This was the time that the local high school football practice lets out and so there's always a lot of foot traffic on the street about then.  But, Pete was a little crazier than normal so I got up to check on what he was barking at.  I saw two boys outside...they saw me see them...and then they went on.  I assumed Pete was just barking because they were standing in front of the house (he doesn't like that.) 

 

So, now I've figured out who the little hoodlums are, but I still can't figure out what the point was.

 

Then, I realize I forgot to put on my lipgloss...and it hits me.  THE PURSE!!!!  The stupid little twits stole my purse! 

...wait...the stupid little twits stole my purse that was drenched in dog pee...stupid, stupid, STUPID little twits. 

 

I felt it my duty to inform the neighbors of this terrible crime that had taken place.  So, I made a big sign on a piece of poster board which read:  To the little twits who stole my purse, you got a purse full of dog pee...looks like you got what you deserved.  I posted it in my front yard.  One particulary lovely woman stopped on her evening walk and wisely said to me after I told her the full story, "Honey, don't let anyone ever tell you there's not a Savior in Heaven.  There is God and He's watching." 

 

Mm.  Thank you, Jesus.

 

-b

 

 

My yard needs mowing. 

Badly.

I haven't mowed it since before the storm destroyed my gazebo.  Granted, we haven't had all that much rain so it is not as bad as it could be, but it is definitely time.

I have an electric lawn mower.  I tried to use it and accidentally ran over the extension cord.  Now my long extension cord is in two separate pieces.  Nice.

Dad brought me a gas mower a few weeks back and so I hauled it out of the garage.  Well, for the life of me, I cannot get that thing to stay on.  Yes, I put more gas in it.  It just doesn't want to participate.  So, I put it back in the garage.

Then, I thought I could at least try some weed eating using my short extension cord.  As I powered away, the weed eater starting making this funky noise.  I turned it off, unplugged it, flipped it over and checked.  Nothing strange...so I plugged it back in and tried again.  I pressed the button and the noise started again.  As I proceeded to pretend there was no noise, the whole thing started shaking.  The next thing I know, the entire mechanism that holds the string in the bottom--not just the little plastic string holder, the WHOLE bottom piece that is attached to the inner workings of the tool--goes flying across the yard lodging itself between two panels of my fence. 

...some things are just not meant to happen.

 

-b

 

So, last night I walked out of my house and shut the door before completing my mental checklist:  Keys?  Check.  Phone?  Check.

The keys were still in the house.  The doors and windows were locked.  The car was locked.  I have no key secretly hidden in my yard.  I, of course, chose the locksmith who would take over 2 hours to show.

 

I had to pay $50 to get into my house.  This, my friends, is called a 'stupid tax.'

 

-b