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September 25 bi-polarPeople in Atlanta, or at least in the Buckhead area, honk at you to go at the very millisecond in which the light turns green. They do this in Boston, but that's a northern city and so I expected it there. On the flip side, they'll let you merge with complete kindness. It's a very bi-polar traffic city. 
-b September 24 Rule #1 for the Mid-Life CrisisSo, today I pull up to a stop light behind a cream colored convertible Ford Thurderbird. The man had the top town and was enjoying a nice Atlanta morning on the road. More specifically, it was an older man with a hair piece wearing a big gold watch that seemed to reflect the sun right back at me.
 I wouldn't have noticed him, really, except for every time we stopped at a stop light, the man started fixing his hair again. I mean, he would move the mirror, run his fingers through his hair on both sides, poof it up a little on top and try to replace every hair into its previously chosen spot.
This whole hair spectacle would cause him to not see the stoplight turn green and then all the people behind me would start honking.
Gang, if you're going to have a mid-life crisis, buy a hair piece and drive around Atlanta in an eye-catching convertible, you simply may not fix your hair until the car stops at your final destination.
-b September 23 HotlantaI'm sitting in my hotel room in Buckhead right now watching out the window as a guy in a wheelchair hussles people out of money at the intersection. He keeps blocking traffic of people who are trying to pull out of the shopping center and asking them for money. I guess I'd be more sympathetic if he didn't keep getting up and adjusting the chair once the cars drive off.
I played a show at Scottsdale Farms last night in Alpharetta which is just about 20 minutes from here. It was a lovely night and great fun to play the round with the ultra-amazingly talented Atlanta native James Casto and then my beloved friend and fellow Nashvillian Craig Monday. Did I mention that Craig's got a cut on the new Kenny Chesney record? Go buy it. I'm tired of buying all of Craig's meals.
 A stupidly talented fellow named Matt Blanchard sat in with his sax and random percussion instruments. He lives in Atlanta and spends about 2 weeks a month in NYC doing session work and playing with the Jersey Band. Normally, I guess I'd be a little frightened when someone picked up a sax to play with me, but he made me a believer. ...and I thought that couldn't be done. So, all in all, a great and fun night. If you live in the Atlanta area, support James and shows he puts together here. He works hard and his shows are superb. If you don't live here, but know someone who does, tell them to support these shows. It's important to have good music. www.jamescasto.comSeptember 20 elbow, elbow, wrist, wristAt the end of my street, there is an intersection which requires a crossing guard during the school year. Both an elementary school and a high school are just beyond the intersection.
For the past two years, we've had this lovely no nonsense woman there. I'd come to rely on her in the mornings to stop traffic and let me out (otherwise, people on our street would be stuck for hours) and she never needed acknowledgment. I mean, I think we all at one time or another gave a few waves of appreciation here and there, but she certainly wasn't an attention whore. As a non-morning person, I appreciated that and I appreciated her. 
You can imagine my horror when school started this year and there was a much younger, much peppier version at the intersection. This girl has the cute little flippy haircut and that happy disposition that makes one want to press the gas to the floor and run her down. The complete and full 'attention whore.'
She waves constantly. I don't mean that she waves at every car, truck or bus driving by. I mean, she literally waves constantly, even if there's no one in front of her. I've taken note, thank you. She does the beauty pageant wave (elbow, elbow, wrist, wrist). Even if she's walked into the middle of the intersection and is holding the stop sign up, the other hand is waving.
I forgave her at first for being new. I decided that it was nice that she had enthusiasm for her new job and there's nothing wrong with that. Plus, I'm a people pleaser. And, so, I'd throw my hand up and wave back.
After a few weeks when she was STILL waving, I decided that she was doing it purposely to amuse herself. Being cheeky, really. And, I decided I could respect that sense of humor--not to mention that I'm a people pleaser, so I'd throw up a hand and wave back.
Last week, with this whole waving thing losing its shine to me, I decided that she must have a neurological disorder because no one waves constantly every single morning, rain or shine, without it being attributable to a disorder. And, I thought it was admirable that she chose a job which would aggravate her disorder, so I threw up my hand and waved back. Plus, I like for everyone to be happy and I'm sure that waving back makes her happy.
Today, I realize that I'm running out of excuses for her constant waving and, frankly, gang, I'm wondering if this circus of the absurd really demands my participation? EVERY MORNING? Before I've had COFFEE?
Well, I'm not waving tomorrow. I've thought about it all day and I'm just not doing it. I'm putting a stop to it.
And then I'm leaving town for a week...in case she gets mad at me.
-b TPToilet paper with no perferations.
It's not a crisis of monumental proportions or anything like that. It's just irritating. I'd like to take a moment to frown on Charmin for causing this need to even comment about tp.
-b September 17 Washed UpI took a night out for a mental break. I've honestly been working myself to death and worrying about what I'm not getting done...in my true typical fashion. I actually had the hypocritical nerve to tell someone dear to me to 'let go' of worrying about a big project she's working on! But, I also told her I was good at giving out advice, but not good at taking it. So, at least I gave a disclaimner.
Anyway, I've confessed to you before that I make greeting cards. Well, tonight was the monthly class. I was getting a pretty good headache by this afternoon and really I probably shouldn't have gone to the class, but Lisa (our fearless leader) gave us all a smackdown last month when too many people weren't going to make it, and so I really couldn't miss this month. I was too afraid she would burn my house down if I did. And so I went.
By the time I pulled in, I was sure I shouldn't have gone without taking something for the headache, but, again, I did it anyway. And, I made four lovely cards once I got there before I had to surrender to come home.
Well, two of the cards had this stuff on the front that needs a long time to dry. It's kind of like putting a clear, shiny gel on something and then when it dries, it's all slick and cool. In this case, I put "water" in the vase of the flower I stamped on the card. Lisa specifically told us all: Make sure you let the Crystal Effects dry.
Well, I grabbed my stuff to leave when I really thought I needed to go and sure enough, my "water" wasn't dry and I stuck my thumb in it. Nice.
What you should also know is that the stuff is really sticky if it's not dry. So, now my thumb is sticky. Excellent.
Lisa opens the door for me so that I can go and I'm being ultra careful to hold these two cards face up so they can dry on the way home.
My car is parked alongside the curb in front of her neighbor's yard. The neighbor has the sprinker system on watering his front yard. 
I assess the situation and decide that there is enough room for me to get to the car without getting wet.
I carefully walked to the door and cautiously placed the cards on top of my car so that I could get the keys out and open the door.
This is the precise moment when the sprinklers changed directions (or a gush of wind came through.)
Happy times.
-b September 16 Progress ReportYeah, the CD isn't going to be ready for sale for my show in Atlanta this weekend...which was my personal goal. I don't even know now if it will be ready for WAJ in St. Louis in October at this point. What I can tell you is that I've been working all day...got two tracks finished and and most of a third. I'm working on the bass part now...and Pete is hiding behind the central air unit in the backyard.
I'm not even kidding.
-b September 14 RandomI just got in from playing a show for a fundraiser for orphans in Kenya. It was a good thing, a good night and I'm glad I skipped out on joining friends in Louisville, KY, for the National Quartet Convention...or as some endearingly call it, Cheese Fest. NQC is a week long celebration of southern gospel music with performances by most of the artists who make a national impact. I'll admit that you pretty much have to be raised on SG to appreciate it, but I was, and I do, and I credit the genre for why I do what I do today. The great moments are ones I can still recall like it was yesterday. And, well, the bad ones, too. I also credit SG for some of the best friends a person could have. Sometimes I think the very thread that holds us together through it all is our common love and our shared memories for this odd little subculture of art...and the not-so-much. All of it.
So, I wanted to give a shout out to everyone in Louisville this week. Thanks for the updates and the kind words about the songs I've written that you've heard up there. It meant a lot. Hear's to lots of hairspray and too many business suits in weird colors...and beautiful harmonies in spite of it all.
-b
p.s. SG is like your family. WE can make fun of it, but I'll whoop up on anyone else who does.  September 12 Just Say "No" to DrugsTwo Benadryl's are too many to take at once for some people.
So I've heard.
Oh a completely unrelated note, I slept like a baby last night for the first time in two weeks and felt GREAT today!
Interesting.
And speaking of taking...or not taking...too many pills, this whole Britney Spears thing in the news is fascinating to me in the fact that there are actually people who care deeply. But, my most favorite part of this whole thing is a youtube.com video discovery which I cannot, in good conscience, link you to here. There is a young fellow named Chris Crocker (if I'm spelling that right) who took it upon himself to post a tear-filled (insert "psychotic") smack down to those who would criticize Britney. I watch in awe as this fellow weeps in complete brokenness about what a hard time Britney has had of late and how he says he'll actually take his own life if something were to ever happen to Britney. He looks completely strung out...which I guess would have to be stating the obvious. It's a sociological study in a topic that I'm not even sure we've defined at this point in humanity, but a study nonetheless. And, because I watched it more than once, I'm part of the reason that the video is ranked #1 on youtube. So, my 'can't-take-my-eyes-off-a-train-wreck' side would like to go ahead and offer a public apology for furthering any of this mess. :-)
-b September 11 Six YearsI was on the treadmill today watching the History Channel. They were doing a show on the photos that were taken at Ground Zero. I can't tell you how powerful it was to see all those photos in that particular way and all I will say is that I stayed on the treadmill longer than I'd expected. I couldn't stop the tears. The photos were so powerful and moving and real and tragic and beautiful.
I'd like to say something eloquent in rememberance, but instead, I'll just tell you that I took time today to remember. I trust that you did, too.
Thanks for being on this journey with me.
-b SoundsI was thinking today while I was working on a song in the studio that it's really kind of silly that I don't play the accordian. I mean, I already know the keys so there can't be that much more to learn. And, I love how accordians sound in the background on songs. Then, I started picturing me playing the accordian and I got cracked up. I'm barely coordinated enough to tie my shoes...much less handle that little fan apparatus thing on the accordian.
But, in the spirit of "what if?" I snooped around for an accordian that I could have in my home office just for fun.
Then, I found this picture of one:
...and then I started giggling again. Would an accordian count as a fashion accessory? Because if so, I don't wear anything so gawdy. -b September 10 I've Still Got It...or Not...I haven't been sleeping well for about 2 weeks. Last week was especially bad and even though I'd planned to catch up over the weekend and sleep pretty much the whole time, after waking up off and on all night both nights, I'd be wide awake at 8. I know that sounds late to some of you, but refer to the whole 'not sleeping for two weeks' part. So, this morning the alarm went off at seven, I snoozed about 4 times and then I got up, hurried around and jumped in the car for the indy race to my appointment. I put the key in, turn it and heard, 'click, click, click.' Oops. I must have turned it too fast. Try again…'click, click, click.' Dead battery. Jim, who is on his death bed with an ear infection, came to the rescue with jumper cables and got me on my way. God bless him. So, I roll in to Advance Auto where the sign read, "New Batteries Installed Free and Fast." That's all me, gang. I want a battery installed for free and I want it done quickly. I go in and there is one employee in the entire store. He starts helping a man who walked in and cut in front of me. (The man looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind. I’m kind of in a hurry." And, in my sleepy and grumpy but gracious way, I replied, "Hey, it's your world. We're just revolving out here." Did I mention I'm not a morning person? He glared, I glared and then he turned around and I'm convinced that he asked for research and price checks on every item in the entire store's inventory. I hate him.) FINALLY, it's time for the kid to help me. He gets a buddy of his who has wandered in to watch the register while he comes out to install my new battery. We're standing there and I'm watching the kid put the battery in and he says, "So, how old are you?" I’m not kidding. How OLD am I? This is NOT the question I'm in the mood for. Here's how it went from there. Me: Are you implying I should be old enough to put my own battery in? Him: Well, I'm a very old twenty. He finishes changing the battery, my car starts and I thanked him for his help. Then the little dork said, "Well, if things don't work out with the dating thing, you know where I work." …sometimes you just have to laugh. September 09 HeartsYesterday I met a woman who thought she had been having anxiety attacks for about twenty years. She said, "I would get so mad at myself because I wasn't going to let anxiety rule my life. I would just press on through." Well, she has since found out through several tests that she had actually been having heart attacks all that time. Needless to say, her heart is in really bad shape. She says the bottom of her heart doesn't work now and the right side pretty much doesn't. Her heart even grew some type of bypass to get around the bottom if I understood her correctly.
I just thought that was an interesting story.
Now, as someone who has had a few actual panic attacks in her life, I'm thinking, "Hmmm..."
 I have to stop asking people so many questions.
-b September 07 Making LemonadeMy friend planted a lemon tree. He has been caring for this tree like it was a newborn child. He goes out every day and takes the dead leaves off of it and is careful to water it properly. It's a true labor of love. He is an excellent chef and being able to add truly fresh lemon to various recipes would be very good (for all of us involved.)
Well, the thing is, the lemon tree hasn't quite produced a lemon yet.
So, my other friend bought a lemon from the grocery and placed the lemon in the tree yesterday morning.
This evening, my lemon tree friend went out and found the perfect lemon in the tree...and proceeded to call his more skeptical friends to tell them the tree has produced.
Awkward on so many levels, isn't it?!?!?!
I never thought he'd think the lemon was from the tree for real.
My vote is that we take the secret to our graves.
-b
September 06 missing I honestly got the following legitimate message today from someone I know.
"vp dick cheney is missing. if you have him, please return him. i promise i won't shoot you."
I could give you the context, but it's more fun when you just get the message. It's in my top #5 favorite emails of all time.
-b September 02 Well WishingI have this weird thing I do where I am saying something and then as the sentence is spoken, my brain substitutes a completely incorrect word randomly. For example, I was trying to say to a friend the other day that Senator Larry Craig had plead guilty and I actually said, "Senator Larry Craig plead 'gay.' " ...yeah, not what I was going for.
So last night, we'd ordered a pizza. 
The delivery guy came and I stepped onto the front porch to sign the receipt and just as he was leaving, I kind of stepped back and lost my balance a little. As I reached for the wall to steady myself, I said to the delivery guy, just as pleasantly as ever, "Happy Birthday!"
I was trying to say, "Happy Labor Day."
You know that poor guy thought I was a drunk lunatic.
It's getting closer to time for institutionalization.
-b
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